Monday, September 20, 2010

Couch to 5K Witchcraft

I jinxed my hip. Either that, or I'm a witch who can create things just by speaking about them.

What I'm trying to say is, literally the *day after* I posted about starting the C25K program, my hip went out. Big time. As in, one of the worst times since I've started yoga.


I think I have to publicly reverse psychologize my hip now.. please bear with me..

Dear Hip,

It's too bad that you are unnecessarily filled with pain that decreases my mobility. I mean, it's not like I'm going to try and run. That whole "Couch to 5K" business was just silly. I could care less about running! In fact, you can be out for the rest of my life, if you wanted to. We're in this thing together hip- I have zero desire to be a healthy, active human being. Gross! Who'd want THAT? Seriously. I love that you are so out of place that one leg is more than an inch longer than the other. I love that I fall a few times a day when my left leg completely gives out because you have decided to go on vacation from your job in my body. I especially love the way you click and pop when I walk. Basically, I just want to say thank you for all your hard work in preventing me from running, but please know that you're working waaaaaaay too hard. Running is for the birds! Birds that have functioning hips, that is.

Yours truly,

(I'm not sure if my hip can read. This plan might backfire)


  1. Physiotherapy and surgery, the magic of knives, excruciatingly painful work outs and brute force.


  2. You might be right on all accounts Hermes.