Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Divorce and Kids, or, How Not to Use Your Kids like Chess Pieces

You want to know the truth? I firmly believe that at least 80% of the problems children of divorce have are a direct result of PETTY, SELFISH, MANIPULATIVE parents, desperate to hurt one another and using their children as pawns. In fact, sometimes I think that one parent purposefully makes situations worse for their children, makes it harder on their ex, so they can point to the other parent and say "See?? I TOLD you it would ruin their lives if you left, I was RIGHT!"

No, you're just confirming your spouse was right in leaving you, because clearly you are so wrapped up in your own head that you can't put your children above your own personal vendettas. I understand that mommies and daddies have personal needs, and of course those need to be addressed and taken care of, but when it comes to divorce, you are a mommy or a daddy first because your children are depending on you to be responsible. So regardless of how mad you are at each other, or how justified you feel, if your spouse has not been abusive, isn't doing drugs or drinking themselves to death, how you feel about he or she should have... oh... yeah zero to do with your decisions regarding the kids. Can you be totally pissed at your ex, hate their guts, wish you had never married them? Of course you can, you have every right. Hell, tell him or her that to his or her face, in private, not in front of the kids or anyone else for that matter. You can hate your ex all you want, but you better have the sense to check yourself before you let that mentality have anything, not even one iota, to do with any decision you make about your children. Your kids shouldn't have to pay twice for your mistakes.

Seriously. People need to grow up before they have kids. I know my parents had lots of issues with one another when they split up, but they never acted like selfish brats when it came to me and my brother and sister. They were able to put our needs above their own, and I am so grateful and respect them for that.

No comments:

Post a Comment