You know how sometimes someone passive aggressively insults you, and you absolutely know it's you, but they didn't actually call you out, so then you can't take it into adult-talking-land and say "Hey, why did you say that about me? What are you mad about?" because then suddenly *you're* the crazy one? Because you know, they just wanted to be passive aggressive and say whatever they wanted, and not really resolve anything? So then you just have to sit on it, and tell yourself that person has their own issues, and that's fine.
Yeah. That situation stinks. Because I am *all about* honesty. I LOVE honesty. Being honest and dealing openly with other people is probably my number one life rule. And it makes me uncomfortable when other people are uncomfortable with honesty, because then we are both caught in this trap where my being honest turns me into the bad guy, because I'd rather talk about it, and get the truth out in the open, and guess what? Sometimes the truth is really, really hard to hear when someone has created an entirely fictional, made up story in their head about you.
Which brings me to my last point- it is so, so frustrating to tell the absolute, God's honest truth, and have something still think something completely false, hateful, and derogatory about you. But, what I've learned is that if I know what I'm about, and what I did, and what I think, I could actually give two shits and a handclap about what other people think. So, I guess that's the best way of getting out of the trap- you tell the truth, and you just don't care whether or not people believe it or not. You've done your part. That's all you can do.