One of the most wonderful things about Colorado is how beautiful it is. People are biking and hiking and walking and doing all sorts of things that don't involve sitting on a couch in front of the warm glow of a TV for hours a day. One of the things I was most looking forward to was hiking. In fact, when Bobby and I went to Barnes and Noble to check out the Nook, I was thrilled to find a little handbook to 50 different hiking trails. We purchase it, and as we're walking out to the car I say to Bobby "we should go on a different hike every weekend!".
Fast forward a day or two later, when I'm reading the book more in depth. And, I know this will sound insane- note the title of this post, I am AWARE I am RIDICULOUS- but a lot of the hikes note mountain lions, black bears, and rattlesnakes.
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So, now I have a totally irrational (to add to insane and ridiculous) fear of getting attacked by a black bear.
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I know. It's totally all of the adjectives I've already used. But it's there. What is the deal with me and obsessing over bad things that have almost zero chance of happening? I mean, I'm afraid of getting attacked by a BEAR. On hiking trails that, to quote the book "are often full by mid morning. If you arrive and the PARKING LOT is FULL, the trail is too full". Yes, the PARKING LOT at the trailhead is frequently overflowing. And I'm acting like I'm Into the Wild'ing it and setting off into an Canadian wilderness. Which, incidentally, is where 70% of the 13 fatal bear attacks since 2000 have occurred.
What?
Are you REALLY surprised I looked up bear fatality statistics?
Anyway, I know I'm being an asshole, so we're still on for the hiking. Bears and silly fears be damned.
From the cinema piece de resistance "Anchorman":
ReplyDeleteBrick Tamland (Steve Carell): [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd): Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.
I thought about that when I went out, haha. I was thinking "good thing I'm not on my period..." :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cortney! We are indeed incredibly happy together.
ReplyDeleteThats crazy about all the hiking trails and the parking lots being full. I remember being in Colorado and loving how empty nature was. I'm sure you'll find some lovely spots.