Friday, May 28, 2010

Om My Ass

Dear Colorado Ladies in my Yoga Class-

Please don't push me to the side and step on my feet as you clamor for "your spot" on the dirty gym floor at 24 Hour Fitness. Speaking of dirty, please don't walk on my yoga mat with your pink sneakers ON, and actually, even barefoot, it's just kind of weird to walk on my mat not once, but twice. You know who you are.

Also, specifically, Ms. Yoga Master Supreme, please don't come into class 10 minutes late, get directly in front of me, and snap out your mat in my face as I'm in Down Dog, overlapping the end of your mat with the front of mine, and causing me to have to move consequently awkwardly close to another fantastically friendly lady in class. Speaking of friendly, I appreciate all the nice eye rolls in response to my polite "hello there" smiles. That was super sweet, thank you college girls in full makeup and messy ponytails and diamond studs!

Overall, thanks for the warm welcome to a new city ladies.

Namaste bitches,

That chick from Texas


  1. I have heard that people north of Oklahoma aren't nice. For example, folks have told me that Kansas people are ass holes.
    Namaste bitches, indeed.

  2. I was kind of overwhelmed by the iciness, but then I talked to Bobby about it and he was like "yeah, people are less overtly friendly, and kind of do their own thing, but the flip side is that they are less backwards/racist/homophobic/etc." So, I guess overall I prefer it, but in practice it feels *so* blunt and dismissive.