Divorce and Kids, or, How Not to Use Your Kids like Chess Pieces

You want to know the truth? I firmly believe that at least 80% of the problems children of divorce have are a direct result of PETTY, SELFISH, MANIPULATIVE parents, desperate to hurt one another and using their children as pawns. In fact, sometimes I think that one parent purposefully makes situations worse for their children, makes it harder on their ex, so they can point to the other parent and say "See?? I TOLD you it would ruin their lives if you left, I was RIGHT!"

No, you're just confirming your spouse was right in leaving you, because clearly you are so wrapped up in your own head that you can't put your children above your own personal vendettas. I understand that mommies and daddies have personal needs, and of course those need to be addressed and taken care of, but when it comes to divorce, you are a mommy or a daddy first because your children are depending on you to be responsible. So regardless of how mad you are at each other, or how justified you feel, if your spouse has not been abusive, isn't doing drugs or drinking themselves to death, how you feel about he or she should have... oh... yeah zero to do with your decisions regarding the kids. Can you be totally pissed at your ex, hate their guts, wish you had never married them? Of course you can, you have every right. Hell, tell him or her that to his or her face, in private, not in front of the kids or anyone else for that matter. You can hate your ex all you want, but you better have the sense to check yourself before you let that mentality have anything, not even one iota, to do with any decision you make about your children. Your kids shouldn't have to pay twice for your mistakes.

Seriously. People need to grow up before they have kids. I know my parents had lots of issues with one another when they split up, but they never acted like selfish brats when it came to me and my brother and sister. They were able to put our needs above their own, and I am so grateful and respect them for that.

Veganomicon, You Rock My Life

Tonight I made Spaghetti Squash Mexicana with Avocado Salsa Fresca. It. Was. Awesome. The spaghetti squash is tossed with black beans (I only had purple hull peas, it worked fine) onions, roasted green bell pepper (recipe called for frozen corn...no) jalapenos, and garlic, all of which are simmered in a sauce of red wine spiced with ground coriander, cinnamon, chili powder, salt, and hot sauce. Then, the salsa on top is mango, avocado, and tomato mixed with some lime juice and cilantro. Seriously. Google this recipe, or buy the book, and make this. You won't regret it, and you won't notice it's vegan if you're not vegan. Unless you're one of those asses who has to point out how fill-in-the-blank vegan dish would be "great with fill-in-the-blank dead animal". Thanks jerk. Way to miss the point. Oh, right, pictures. I served it with totally boring canned vegetarian refried beans, spiced with lime and green chiles...

Oh Yeah, I Graduated! Here Are Some Pictures

A few things- the time stamp is clearly totally wrong, I graduated in December 2009. Also, how absurd is my wizard getup? The sleeves had those creepy dangly dudes hanging off of them, and my striped hood had a sassy little flippy upturned tail situation going on. Lastly, I tried to upload a few group family photos, and blogger flat out said "eff you, it's Sunday, that's all you get, I'm gonna go to Denny's and get pancakes and then take a nap". Thanks Blogger. You're a real peach.

So, yeah. I'm a Master of Something!! Two years full time school and full time work, my G.P.A. was right at 3.8 or so, and I have less than half of the student loan debt the average student has after their *undergraduate* degree, so I'm very happy with that. Now I just need a job to go with my wizard cape and master's degree, and I'll be all set.

Wow. Ignorance Never Fails to Surprise Me.

I happened upon a blog by swinging from another blog from another blog... you know how it goes. Anyway, there was a thoughtful post regarding marriage, and the author was exploring her guilt that her gay and lesbian friends couldn't get married, while she can.

90% of the comments were understanding and supportive. Then one girl said---

"I never thought of marriage as a legal thing. Marriage is a covenant, not a legal certificate. Isn’t it more about making a lifelong commitment in front of those who are most important to the wedding couple? Government shouldn’t be mandating marriage, as it was originally set up as an institution of the church. I’m not sure when the switch occurred!"

Ok, cool, so we have to live by your religious persuasion, and also somehow this erases inequality? What? How does her comment even make sense?

Oh, but wait, WAIT! Apparently her comment made perfect, AWESOME sense to another girl, who offered the following insights because she "totally" agrees. Note how compassionate she is towards the plight of homosexual citizens who are barred from marriage. She gives Mother Theresa a run for her money, read and learn!

"you’re totally right! It’s really weird to see people getting all bent out of shape about it. Like it just KILLS them that they can’t get a piece of paper. Do we really think that marriage is something a bureaucrat can call into being with a swipe of the pen? Something you can get by filling out a form?"

Wow.

What.

The...

Seriously??

This woman is so detached from her own heterosexual privilege that she is seemingly unaware of the fact that the "piece of paper" she can get just by strolling down to the local City Hall with a Person With a Penis gives her over ONE THOUSAND federal rights, benefits, and protections. She actually thinks that gay and lesbians are mad because they can't get a "piece of paper" to validate their marriage. She is exhorting us to stop worrying about labels and petty superficial things, and understand the real meaning of marriage- love, commitment, fidelity, puppies, rainbows, maybe some background music from a Kay Jeweler's commercial, you know. Well, that's all well and good Princess, but you get to self righteously turn your nose up at the paper chasers while simultaneously having access to rights other tax paying citizens of this nation are fighting for. While your waxing poetic about how you don't need a piece of paper to justify your love, other people are worried about things like parental rights, adoption, being able to visit a sick partner in the hospital, health and pension benefits, tax benefits, the list goes on.

You know, all those things you don't have to worry about while you're thinking about how much you love the partner you can marry at any time.

Just. Please. Read. A. Book. Or the news. Or anything to do with something before you post such ignorant, hateful, insensitive things.

Mona Lisa Squinchy Smirk Sideways Pout Smile

Go with me, to a time pre-myspace and vintagey dressed screamo "punky" weird "artsy" girls flooding its channels with pictures...

Am I the only soul living in existence who remembers that it was once possible to take a picture without squinching one's lips into a pretentious sideways pucker while casting one's eyes in the opposite direction of the jutting pursed lips, creating that completely put on face that is meant to engender feelings of "awwww, cute, she's all little and precocious!"

I think it's that, as we approach 2012 and the end of existence, self consciousness is raised to dizzying new heights, and it's impossible to simply bare one's teeth in the traditional lip configuration previously referred to as a "smile"- alternatively a "grin" or sometimes a "smirk". Maybe I'm just getting too old for these new facial moves. Who can say. Or maybe I remember when making a face in a picture was making a mother fuckin' face- you tried to make yourself look as disgusting as possible, really warp the facial planes into a twisted wreck of grotesque expression, elastic skin, bugged out eyes.

Hmmm... .nope, it's really just that this lip pursed squinchy sideways mouth "tee hee, I'm adorably cute!" thing just pisses me off. I don't know why. It just always has, and maybe it always will. That's all.

Ok, ok, wait- I should say, though, before I go- we all have at least one of these pictures, but it was an accident, or was meant to be funny. I'm more referring to people who seem physically incapable of simply *being* in a picture, without throwing up a facial expression that has become the universal gang sign for "I'm interesting and artsy and wear weird clothes and make mustaches with my fingers and am fundamentally defined by my pencil jeans and ironic mullets and 80's throwback neon purses and Bon Jovi headbands and my inability to ponder anything more than what color socks I'm going to wear to go with that new band I discovered".

The end.

The Aforementioned Pink/Red/Orange Hair

Yes, I realize I'm looking to the side on purpose. It's to get the full effect of my awesome dye job. I'm aware I look self-consciously thoughtful, don't rub it in.

The "tricking the universe into giving me a job interview the day after dying my hair inappropriate colors" plan didn't work. Or hasn't worked yet *optimism hurrah!*

Um, I've gone to yoga three days in a row. I am le sore. But I made a really awesome roasted eggplant, garlic, and red bell pepper stew with chickpeas and tomatoes. The two have nothing to do with one another, and certainly nothing to do with my hair...

time to take a shower and go scam CVS with my old lady coupon shenanigans. Then it's quilt makin' and scarf crochetin' time tonight in Texas. It is below 25 degrees. That warrants old school down home craftiness.

Love is in the Air

One of my favorite girls recently got engaged to a really great Norwegian Viking Man from... um... yeah Norway.

The point is, they are wonderful and happy and oh so cute together, so I'm very, very happy for them. Oh love. Great news to bring in the New Year :)