It's Cool, I'm Sure There's Another Planet We Can Trash

So, this whole BP mess- wow, what an understatement- has left me just exhausted, overwhelmed, pissed off, sad, I dunno, pretty much any other adjective that is related to not feeling good. Prior to the spill, Bobby and I had been trying to make conscious efforts to use far less plastic. Sure, we recycle- diligently- but really, in the end, it's better to just not use the stuff.

So, in the midst of biking more, cooking more from scratch, getting glass jars second hand at thrift stores to avoid plastic bags when purchasing from the bulk bins, making more bread from scratch, and looking into ways to replace household items like toothpaste and laundry soap with natural alternatives with no packaging- as in, baking soda, vinegar, old school alternatives- BP goes and shits all over the ocean.

And I mean, I am totally with that Margaret Mead quote, about not doubting the power of a group of committed people to make change and yadda yadda happy time optimism, but... man. I feel so USELESS constantly refusing things because they're in plastic- or any packaging, at all- and trying to walk more, and having our low flow shower heads, and utilizing our food to avoid waste, when in the grand scheme of things, oil is gushing non-stop into our Gulf, spreading to other areas, and, oh yeah, in addition to the huge plastic garbage patch twice the size of Texas in the Pacific, there are actually FOUR MORE HUGE FLOATING PLASTIC GARBAGE PATCHES- http://5gyres.org/ for more info. Gross. Gross. Gross.

This isn't about "believing in" global warming. You want something to "believe in"? Check out the destruction of the Gulf Coast. Listen to BP say they don't know when the oil will be plugged. Go google some pictures of the not one, not three, not even four, but five damn garbage patches that are floating in our oceans, the lymphatic system of our WORLD, the only world we HAVE. This isn't about some political scheme, or whether or not you like Al Gore or Greenpeace. Our trash, our waste, our excessive consumption, they're all very "real". It's not some Santa Claus conspiracy meant to dupe you into being green. Tainted water, terrible air, damaged soil, plastic filled oceans, and gushing oil aren't the Easter Bunny sent by liberals to "ruin America" by forcing it to go green. It's all happening, right now.

And it's so, so overwhelming to think of how far we have to go to even begin to remotely fix it. And I feel like my little contributions are laughable, or, at worst, not even a blip on the radar. I know we should all keep trying, but when it comes down to it, it can't just be consumers making the changes. Some of these changes have to start from the top down. We need to stop making crap that is meant to last forever, but be used once and thrown away. Companies need MORE regulations- yes, more, I know that means I hate capitalism and Uncle Sam- because quite frankly, when you have a liability cap at a laughably low level in relation to your profits- as oil companies do- what motivation do you have to drill responsibly? Oh, that's right, pretty much none.

I am so angry. I had to stop reading the news, because it was just horror story after horror story on BP, for so many weeks now I can't even handle it. We have got to get our shit together.

I'm Ridiculous

One of the most wonderful things about Colorado is how beautiful it is. People are biking and hiking and walking and doing all sorts of things that don't involve sitting on a couch in front of the warm glow of a TV for hours a day. One of the things I was most looking forward to was hiking. In fact, when Bobby and I went to Barnes and Noble to check out the Nook, I was thrilled to find a little handbook to 50 different hiking trails. We purchase it, and as we're walking out to the car I say to Bobby "we should go on a different hike every weekend!".

Fast forward a day or two later, when I'm reading the book more in depth. And, I know this will sound insane- note the title of this post, I am AWARE I am RIDICULOUS- but a lot of the hikes note mountain lions, black bears, and rattlesnakes.


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So, now I have a totally irrational (to add to insane and ridiculous) fear of getting attacked by a black bear.

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I know. It's totally all of the adjectives I've already used. But it's there. What is the deal with me and obsessing over bad things that have almost zero chance of happening? I mean, I'm afraid of getting attacked by a BEAR. On hiking trails that, to quote the book "are often full by mid morning. If you arrive and the PARKING LOT is FULL, the trail is too full". Yes, the PARKING LOT at the trailhead is frequently overflowing. And I'm acting like I'm Into the Wild'ing it and setting off into an Canadian wilderness. Which, incidentally, is where 70% of the 13 fatal bear attacks since 2000 have occurred.

What?

Are you REALLY surprised I looked up bear fatality statistics?

Anyway, I know I'm being an asshole, so we're still on for the hiking. Bears and silly fears be damned.

Second Chances

I decided that I would go back to the weekday yoga class that gave me such a bad experience. I wouldn't think about that bad experience, but would instead take a spot in the back- I usually like a front corner so I can use the mirrors on both sides to correct my form- and just have a nice, relaxing class.

And you know what? It totally worked. At the end of class we had partner time, and a ridiculously sweet girl came up to me and offered to be my partner, because she said she didn't know anyone in class and it seemed like everyone knew everyone else. I told her I felt the same way, and we proceeded to do the (admittedly somewhat awkward) partner exercise of yogic massage while our partner was in child's pose. Despite "drumming" on a complete stranger's sacrum, and having her do the same to me, I was *more* comfortable in class this time than in last time. After class I approached the teacher about working on my arm balances, and she sweetly gave me her facebook info, told me to friend her, and said she has classes downtown that specifically focus on inversions and arm balances.

The moral of the story is, my rule of trying everything at least three times worked like a charm once again. And I only had to try it twice to set things right.

Totally unrelated to any of the above, I am beyond excited to try out a new recipe. Think cajun spiced fried food, but instead of meat, it's tofu. Veganomicon is a cookbook that has yet to let me down, so I have high hopes for it. Other than that I'm super sore, and, oh yes, I have yet to be able to get in to "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". I'm 67 pages deep, and I'm still fighting my way through pages, trying to pay attention. So, in the spirit of giving things a chance, I'm still soldiering on, but there is most certainly a page number deadline for chemistry to develop that is fast approaching. I don't think it bodes well that I'm already scoping out my bookshelf looking for a replacement. Don't worry, I don't do it in front of Zen. That would just be rude.

Propositioning Jobs

I spent a considerable amount of time last evening editing and re-writing my resume. I've managed to find a few non-profit management type jobs that excited me, maybe my resume will excite at least one of them as well. It's hard applying for jobs in this internet age. It's like online dating. I peruse their profiles, think about if I want to be with them, and then agonize over the message/resume I will send, hoping it catches their eye and makes them want to meet up and get to know me better. Hopefully that first meeting will convince them we're perfect for each other, and they will confess they don't know how they lived without me.

I snagged Puppy Bob that way, here's hoping for another success!**

**Of course Bobby is better than a job. I just had to continue my ridiculous metaphor. Thank you for understanding.

Tare It Up

So, I've been thinking about ways to reduce my trash and plastic consumption. Sure, I try to recycle, but wouldn't it be better to just not use it in the first place?

I found a few blogs dedicated to these endeavors, and over and again they mentioned taking glass containers to grocery stores to buy bulk items. I adore Sprouts with pretty much everything in my grocery shopping parts, so yesterday, when picking up the fixings for a new recipe, I asked if I could bring my glass container in to partake of the 4 aisles of bulk goodness they got goin' on.

To which the cashier replied,

"Sure, but we don't tare the container, so it's included in the weight of what you're buying".

What the hell? I'm just trying to be a good consumer, avoid my plastic consumption, and get my bulk buy on. And you tell me I'll essentially be charged, basically fiscally punished, as a result? How hard is it to tare my container Sprouts? Seriously.

So, here's the deal, Sprouts, we've had a good run, and you're way more laid back and easy to hang out with than your uptight sister Whole Foods, and certainly a cheaper date, but I think this is one issue where you just don't do it for me. I won't talk about getting my bulk on at Whole Foods as long as you don't get all pissy when I don't visit your barrels anymore, deal? Deal.

Thursday

I really wish I could get up the mental energy to attend the Tues/Thurs/Sun yoga class, but as it was the subject of my post on how HORRIBLE said class was... well, it's just a little daunting. So, instead I slept in until 9:15 (class starts at 10) and then decided I would just make myself go on Sunday- and make Bobby go with me.

As a result I'm reading the news and various blogs and checking my facebook in my robe, wondering what to make for breakfast although it is now 10 a.m., and sorting out what I'll do today. Now that the apartment is complete, I can put my full attention to finding somewhere to volunteer. I'm thinking 5 hours a day, Monday through Friday and some Saturdays as they need me. In the meantime, I need to get dressed, brush the fur coats off my teeth, and eat something. So here goes Thursday. Let's hope it's a good one!

I Bet You Think This Blog is About You

After hearing a blog friend called vain for shaving her baby's head to even out the hair- seriously, yes, I'm not making this up- I just had to type up this rant. I'm so damned tired of women throwing around "vanity" as the ultimate insult. You know what? It is my wish for all women to be "vain". I hope they care about themselves, love their faces, their hips, their hair, their legs, their breasts, I hope they think they are funny and smart and valuable and generally kick ass.

I am so OVER women shaming other women to stay in this neutral ground of not being that "annoying compliment fishing" low self esteem girl, or the "she thinks she's SOOOO hot/awesome/cool" girl. So much of what is hissed about as vanity is pure, good old fashioned, healthy self esteem and self respect. Is my physical appearance or other character traits the most important thing about me? No, of course not. But it doesn't mean one is shallow if they *gasp* care about their appearances, enjoy their bodies, their faces, or their lives even. I've actually heard women call other women vain for "bragging about their lives like you're so special and happy". Whoa. What the hell is wrong with loving your life, thinking you're special, and being happy?

Here's to being "vain", because most of the time that just means you don't hate yourself.

Almost there...

After almost three weeks of being in Colorado, the entire house is organized, decorated, and furnished, with the lone exception of the study. We spent some time last night going through our mutual study-things, reorganizing the closet and moving some things to the outside storage closet, and coming up with a plan for a bookshelf. After craig's listing it for a bit, I finally just asked Puppy Bob if he would kindly build one very long, single shelf along the wall above the closet doors- the left side juts out, so it would look "built-in". He agreed this would be the easiest, cheapest, and most user friendly solution.

So, it looks like this weekend will involve shampooing our funky orange love seats- pictures to come when the house is done!- and building a shelf. On Sunday we're hitting up a vegan potluck event we found through meetup.com, and apparently about 20 people will be there. Let's hope they're nicer than the yoga ladies ;)