Mutual Agreements

Dealing with other humans can be a nightmare, waiting for those rare moments when they transcend their bullshit. But I think it’s worth it to be around when they do, because you also have to realize all the bullshit you are giving out, and know that someone else is waiting for your transcendent moments too.

So, I'll keep having faith in yours if you have faith in mine.

I Got 99 Problems and They're All My Teeth

So, in preparation for the big move I hit up my gyno and a dentist to get checked from head to toe while I still had insurance. I went to the gyno for a full inspection, I peed in a cup, they drew my blood, and then refilled my Retin-A and birth control. I'm perfectly healthy and I now have my prescriptions for the next year. The next and final stop was a dentist. Now, I had 4 cavities filled and 6 sealed back in July, and ever since then I have religiously flossed TWICE daily, so this was more of a "I need to get my teeth cleaned" kind of thing. So, I just went to the place down the street from me, the guy that cleaned Puppy Bob's teeth. Nice dentist, nice office, nice dental assistants.

So, I go in for a teeth cleaning, smugly expecting congratulations on my perfectly flossed awesome teeth... and instead I'm told I have EIGHT cavities. WHAT. THE. HELL. He tells me they were probably already starting last July, after I tell him I've lost all faith in flossing upon hearing that with the exception of one they are all in between my teeth. Anyway, he says "we can do it all today" so my tooth cleaning turns into a 3 hour marathon of dentistry. I leave, go home, and sleep all day.

That was over two weeks ago, and my teeth have been killing me. Bringing me to tears when I eat. Feeling like I'm chewing cold rocks when I'm eating room temperature soft bread. It was awful. I went back in last Wednesday to have my bite adjusted- aka to have my fillings sanded down- but this last weekend two separate meals brought me to tears. So, I went in *again* today, had my bite re-adjusted, and he re-did two fillings. My dentist was super nice about the whole thing, and the two followup visits I didn't have to pay anything, even though this last one- this morning, in fact- one of the fillings he re-did wasn't even one he did in the first place. So, I'm thinking positive thoughts and popping lots of ibuprofen. In the meantime, I'm starving. But I'm not quite ready to chance eating yet, so instead I think I'll take a nap.

Other than my teeth, everything has been awesome. I've been hanging out with friends and family, sorting through my apartment, and tomorrow I start my 4 day training for the Census job. It gets to come with me to Colorado, so I'm excited I have a job before I even get there. I'm also interested to meet the other people at training. After my experience with the test and the interview let's just say I'm expecting some interesting people.

Ok, goodnight. My teeth are starting to wake up from the shots and I want to be asleep when they do.

Waiting Room

First of all, the Fugazi song that shares the title of this blog post is awesome. You should hear it if you haven't yet.

Second of all, pertaining to the actual content of this blog post, I'm getting antsy to move up. Bobby found an apartment that not only met all of our requirements- some very specific- but also pulled out all the stops with random details of awesome that were just gravy on top of a pan of hot biscuit apartment perfection. Some key points- it's only 2 miles from his job so he can bike to work, in the relative safety of a bike lane *that lane that Texans think is where they can pass people- no. no. no.* It's less than a mile from our gym, it's on the second floor, has a laundry room and full washer and dryer, is a two bedroom, and you can see the mountains and the heated pool from our balcony. Also, it's randomly huge, ridiculously new/nice, and right around what apartments costs are here in Dallas. Plus, he got up to Colorado safely Monday night/early Tuesday morning, saw the place Tuesday afternoon, and was all signed up and moved in by Wednesday afternoon. And the only thing that broke was my bright yellow mixing bowl, but it was overly large and was rarely used, so I'd say it wasn't really a loss.

I'm still camping out on my air mattress- it is so comfortable, I never want to get out of bed- and enjoying the wide open spaces in my apartment. This weekend is a huge 9th annual b'day party for one of my friends, a gathering that draws members of our tribe from hours away for what is usually a full weekend of celebrations, so I get to see pretty much everyone before I head to Colorado. Right now I'm just trying to spend as much time as can with as many people as possible, and so far I'm doing a good job. But mostly I miss Bobby and I really can't wait to get up to Colorado and see what this next year will bring.

But for now, I went back to the dentist to get drilled and filed *again* on a few of the 8 cavities he filled, so I think the immediate future holds a painpill and an early bedtime.

Feelin' Good

Bobby left this morning for Colorado, and after what is hopefully a safe and pleasant 15 hour drive he'll be in what will be our new home. Well, I suppose first he has to actually *find* our new home. We already have heaps of promises to visit, and have decided to get a two bedroom for the space and the ability to accommodate friends and family. We decided on the downtown area if possible, because it's walkable and central to arts and events. I also can't wait to go back to bike riding, my favorite thing about living in Japan was being able to bike everywhere, but Texas is pretty much nowhere near even thinking about considering being bike friendly.

This last weekend was a blur of going away parties, b'day parties, pictures, packing, and organizing everything we needed to do. I slept in on the air mattress we purchased to use my last few weeks here, and eventually to use in the aforementioned spare bedroom. I love the feeling of camping out in apartments, my favorite part about them is when you first move in or are about to move out, and there is so much space and simplicity. All that's left is to move out the borrowed desk and loveseat, and then I'll just pack up my clothes/toiletries and the air mattress in my station wagon and head out. The next few weeks will be filled with family and friends and new babies on the way, so I'll get to see lots of people before I head out.

I'm so excited for this next year. Who knows what will happen, but I'm trusting in good things.

Um....

I'm moving to Colorado. With this guy. In about a month.



What's weird, is that it's not weird. And what's kind of freaking me out is that I'm not freaking out.

Let's go Colorado!

So, This is Who I Am

There is a blog that I read fairly often- usually daily- that surprised even me when it first caught my fancy. It's www.thatwifeblog.com, and it's the blog of a young, married, Mormon housewife. When I started reading it, she had just gotten married, and now about a year and a half later, she's about to have a baby. This woman and I are pretty much polar opposites on a lot of issues, but on many others we see eye to eye. I enjoy her blog, her writing, and her personality. Plus, she takes fabulous pictures and I like my blogs to give me some pictures to go with the stories :) Anyway, what is the point of all of this?

Basically, she has many readers, but also quite a few vehement critics. The same person I experience as poised, principled, and interesting, others view as condescending, judgmental, and selfish. I'm reading the same blog, by the same woman, yet her critics and I are having polar opposite reactions and experiences. This made me realize, as I commented on the blog after a particularly nasty comment, that it really is true that you no matter how wonderful or kind or helpful or sweet or thoughtful or any other positive adjective you think you are being... yeah, some people will just flat out not like you. And since you *know* that, since you *know* that no matter what you do, someone will probably really, really dislike you, it just further reinforces that truth that parents- well, good parents- try to instill in their children. Which is to just be yourself. Try to be the best person you can be, but other than that, give up all the rest of the worry. It isn't worth the time, effort, and trouble to try and please people because in the end those who like you will like you, other people might ignore you, and some people will just hate you no matter what the hell you do.

So, this is who I am. And I really don't care what people, who are hell bent on hating me, think of me. Because I know who I am, the people that hate/dislike me are wasting their life on negativity, and God knows random people, who are probably well loved by others, have sometimes rubbed me the wrong way for God knows what reason. We're people, and we're weird, and the problems come when we start caring about the weirdness, instead of just accepting it and moving on to more important things, like reading blogs and eating dinner with the windows open and a cool breeze coming in.

Ta-da! It's that easy. And with that I'm going to finish eating my fried pickles and black bean burger. Also, the strawberry root beer is pretty fucking fabulous.

Although I'm sure some people would completely hate it ;)

Broken Promises

I swore to myself I would never have a picture of a cupcake on my blog. Look, I have nothing against cupcakes, but I really don't get why they're such a *thing* in the past year. I really like (vegan) cupcakes, but I'm one to balk at random trends, and so that led me to the cupcake promise of early '09, where I swore I would never a) take a picture of a cupcake or b) post said picture on facebook/blog.

That promise to myself is broken.

So, the story is that a huge, HUGE, awesome Whole Foods opened up two shakes of a lamb's tail down the street from me. And they have a vegan cupcake bar. And they were amazing. Puppy Bob and I went there on our last snow day of the winter- seriously Texas, way to pull a white winter out of nowhere, you never cease to amaze me- about two weeks ago....

I'm sorry early '09 self...

but...

yeah here's a pictures of a cupcake. Ok, TWO PICTURES.

Taking the Easy Way Out

Yeah, so this is going to be a pretty straightforward blog...

In general, I find it easier to just be nice. I try to make positive assumptions about people, give them the benefit of the doubt, and generally just respond with getting nicer when people get shittier**. I just figure it's way easier to be nice to people than to be a bitter, angry, resentful, raging person reacting to everything around me in the absolute worst way possible, taking everything personally, and generally making the worst assumptions about people and situations. I can't even begin to comprehend how exhausting that would be. I'm not always sunshine and kitten sweat, but I try. Because, well, why not? Wouldn't everything be a bit better for everyone if we were all a bit nicer? I basically love this quote-

“There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behaviour, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yeah, I'd agree with you RWE. And I specifically referred to you by your initials to make that sentence rhyme. Yes, I'm a nerd.

**Please note that there are exceptions to this- I have called out people in public for being racist/homophobic/sexist, for being overtly aggressive to me, for crossing boundaries, etc. I'm more talking about day to day, ho hum, driving around town going to the grocery store dealing with people on a general basis.